anger and resentment

I updated my resume and I do a loooooot of work and don't make nearly enough money to compensate for it. 

I'm not perfect by any means but I run circles around Rochelle, I manage Jan, I'll start managing Tatum soon, I was also co-managing Hannah with Tatum, and I have done so much towards the betterment of our record keeping, our presence among each office, and the way we operate using different systems I have improved and/or created. 

I updated my resume on LinkedIn and this weekend I'm gonna start posting it. 

~

Andrea came in today. 

I was thinking she was coming in because I have a meeting with my advisor (which was still a little annoying) but no. 

She has a hair appointment. 

~

I'm off a few days next week for my birthday. Andrea approved that PTO and it's my birthday. At this company, you get your birthday off.

I asked Andrea if she wanted anything from Taco Bell. And she said no but a long answer. And then she said isnt there one close by and I said yes, but I don't have time to go. And she asked what I was doing. And I told her. And that was that. While she was back here to answer my question, she looked at the calendar and say I'm gonna be off next Friday and something about June. 

And I said I'm also off next Thursday and Friday.

And then she stood and contemplated solutions without really asking me for my help so I didn't offer it. Apparently it's August's graduation. That's great. I'm not gonna be here still though. I did respond when she said "I wonder if Tatum can come up here to help" and I smiled and humped my shoulders like "ehhh, I don't know that's a question for Tatum"

And now she's off to get her hair done. 

~

I don't have time to take two days off work and then come back and get my hair done, mid-day.

And I don't understand why she didn't just check with Tatum and Jan and make plans for us both being out before coming to me because it makes it feel like she wanted me to come in anyway and like she wanted me to find a solution. 

~

Aaaaaaand as I pull out my hair, my fucking mother texts me.