I think I've balanced back out. I think Candice really did care a lot about me. If she didn't, she would have given up when it was easy. She just really wanted me around. I reread the mean email I sent her after I read the Borderline chapter in Whole Again and the author describes their experience the same why I called her out. So I felt a bit worse but also justified in the statements I made. I love her and I'll probably always love her, but she doesn't love herself. She may not even know who she really it. So no relationship she has will ever be successful, not even if it was one with me because she's not getting the help she needs. And I fully understand how bad people with Borderline have it. It sounds like cPTSD on crack to be honest and I don't know if I cool even function that way. So I somehow love her even more and I wish she at least gets to find genuine joy, even in moments that she's like "activated". (There's some term the au...
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