i got issues

Back at work today after processing in EMDR yesterday.

This is gonna be my dump file. 

1. Troy wants to change the way we handle company loans. So I asked if we needed to update management on the policy and Andrea did the same thing they all do-- made a unilateral decision based on her personal stance. So we now have a policy change that no one knows about and will put more interruptions on us when people start asking. 
2. Andrea had to let Ashley go. She hasn't shown up to work all week since Patricia talked to her because she's been "sick". I told her my opinion-- Ashley's really sweet, and based on her reaction to Patricia's talk saying that she knows she's not good at her job and the fact that she was really funny about it, she's probably hiding out. She probably has a bruised ego because she knows how bad she is, she was finally talked to about it, so she's just staying home and using a little PTO because she knows what's coming next. And she's also probably a little embarrassed. She didn't believe it. Andrea called and did it and what I said was true. And she was sweet still, she admitted she was waiting on the call, and that she was embarrassed. 
3. Andrea came in today sharing what she experienced at this legal event she went to. And I'm trying to best to sound supportive while she repeats all these things to me about AI that I've already told her and she did not believe. And now that she's been in a room full of people who get it, she's saying all these things to me as if I hadn't already said them. And not believing me is fine. But refusing to fact-check me, choosing to dismiss my concerns, and then reintroduce them to me as if it's a new found gospel is a problem. It's on of THE repetitive problem being here. 
4. We started to create New Hire packages before Tatum left for Andrea to pass out during orientation. I spearheaded the project with Tatum and Hannah's help. Andrea stepped in and changed a bunch of stuff on the backend without knowledge or respect to why they were done that way. Which messed up the way you can access things and every time she wanted something changed (which was a lot for this one document), because she'd changed the system, we kept having to either correct issues after printing the old version unknowingly or repeatedly update this one document in multiple places. 
5. Today she asked me where should could find the handbook because she's used all the other files we had prepped by office and only had the TX one left. 2 problems: 1) why did you wait until you got down to the last one for our only affiliate company and 2) I'm in the middle of deposits and other things and the handbook is still saved on the drive we all share in the same place she used to put them. 1 is understandable because maybe she just kept putting it off thinking she'd remember and it got passed her. BUT ALSO
6. You waited until until the New Hire was downstairs to ask me to pull and print a 20+ page handbook while I'm buried in work
7. I get paid what a receptionist makes at our company to work at one office. I have a special skills job and I support 8 offices.
8. I am sick of Whitney. She does everything other than what she should be doing and today she's has attempted to throw me under the bus again with Andrea. Which brings me to my next point.
9. I get thrown under the bus to Andrea, who does not even know that's what's happening. So I keep my anger and do my job until Andrea comes back and asked me why Whitney would reach out to her when she could reach out to me and how she doesn't get it. So I close my eyes to gather my witts and say "because she wants to get me in trouble". I literally do not have time to do my job, pick up Tatum's, help Jan and then help explain how I'M BEING THROWN UNDER THE BUSS BY THIS BITCH.
10. Andrea's dad died and Whitney asked me to join FWs Admin Day stuff. I said "thanks but I can't" because Tatum put in her notice, Andrea is out, and I'm already behind on my own job. I don't have time to take a break. Andrea texts me after I declined, to let me know she asked Whitney to do that. NUMBER FUCKING ONE: do not puppet a bitch I don't like to play nice. You are fucking with me by proxy and you're letting her known your down to do that. NUMBER TWO: I LITERALLY CANNOT TAKE A BREAK WHEN IM PLAYING CATCH-UP, DOING YOUR JOB AND DOING TATUM'S JOB. I AM ON MY FUCKING OWN. 
11. Whitney and Nikki are just gross as people. I get they have their own person struggles that makes them present as themselves but eww gross. I do not have time for fake and phony and snarky just because of your insecurities. A bad reaction I can excuse. Poor character? Fuck you, kiss my ass. 
12. I keep getting fucking mail that I keep giving FW to review and they KEEP SENDING IT BACK WITHOUT ASKING A SINGLE FUCKING QUESTION!!!! And I am FULLY aware they cannot get a receptionist to stay but CAN YOU AT LEAST FUCKING TRAIN THEM or step in to check in occasionally to make sure they are well equipped???? What the fuck is so hard about that?
13. I get more love and welcomed appreciation from my volunteer group, strangers, etc etc etc than this fucking job. And Andrea is too afraid to even let me speak up for myself, let alone make sure either of us are well taken care off. And she looooooves to bring up the meeting I did with Ashley to help solve whatever conflict was happening. Well I'd do it all over again or I'd quit before I let her manage conflict because I am seeing how her brain works when it's her and she is butting in and poorly managing the conflict I have with Whitney. We are not the same and if she says that again I'm gonna lose my shit. 
14. Nikki bragged about her niece being promoted to GM at a large casino chain and how she's been hard working since she was 15. So have I and what do I have to show for it? Yet another job that I'm allowing to bleed my dry for scraps. 
15. Sarah works at one office and is one of 3 assistants to Nikki. She got $800 bonus from Keri and Nikki gave her a $700 bonus. Andrea bumped my bonus up to $350 from $250. FML 
16. Whitney has overstepped yet again and made an incorrect statement yet again. And I'm fucking tired of this shit and everyone being too chicken shit to do or say anything helpful or constructive to reign her in. Andrea just looks like I'm about to kick a puppy every time I get upset and it's righteous indignation. 
17. I had to put Andrea on front street this morning. Patricia is being left to the wolves and I kept saying someone should step in and do something. And she kept saying Chris should. (MA'AM! HE HIRED YOU TO DO THAT.) So Nikki and Whitney are going to continue to roll over anyone who would let them and this has worked because we have traditionally operated in silos. We are not a silo anymore. And I tapped her screen and said Chris could say something, Troy could say something. And she said but they're not going to. Chris never does, Troy doesn't like her so he won't, and Whitney doesn't like her. So I gave up and yes, precisely and tapped her name because YOU ARE ALSO ON THIS EMAIL AND YOU ARE ALSO ABANDONING PATRICIA. And I, ONCE AGAIN, gave her instructions on what to say. And she only emailed what she wasn't afraid of sending and left out the substance that would impede Nikki and Whitney from running through Patricia. 
18. Andrea doesn't know how to lead this department and as much as she postured about "I don't know and I feel so disconnected" she has done nothing to change anything. 
19. She approached me Monday of this week or last about adding more people to this department. And while she led the conversation, it was purely conjecture and the theme was we could hire this person or this kind of person or maybe this but I don't know. I know they'd be working with you. What do you want to see with this department?
20. I'm starting to believe that she's using me. Because she'll do backflips behind her mom to flip flop about her behavior, attitude, and addiction. But she makes no attempt to figure anything here out. 
21. I came up with at least 3 new processes on my own since Thursday of last week. And she's made no contribution to them other than saying yea or nay. 
22. I think Andrea is posturing for Tony now too because while she wants change, she doesn't want to make it or take part. She just wants things to be different without her having to do anything. 
23. Tony has offered to put her at several companies repeatedly and I'm starting to think she won't take him up on it because she knows she'd need me or someone like me to support her. I think he's been calling her bluff.
24. Tatum came in for her meeting about her future here. I had my notepad and pen ready. Andrea did not, made a lackluster effort to grab one, and then didn't bother when Tatum offered to grab her one. Tatum-- who hasn't been here since she had her baby. 
25. I'm waiting on Andrea to lead the meeting and she just tossed it to me. It was aggravating and it was uncomfortable and it looked terrible. Because this didn't have to be a fucking meeting. This could have just been a phone call between us girlies without her.
26. Andrea is not doing anything to prevent Whitney from running rampant. 
27. And Whitney is at it again. I'm tired. I don't want to be here and I don't think that I can stay here anymore.
28. Andrea fell for Whitney's posturing even AFTER I told her that's what I expected and gave her clarification on what that means. 
29. Andrea came to my desk and asked me to pull up sponsorship info because her QuickBooks was still loading. Before she got the part about QuickBooks out, I'd already opened the deposit spreadsheet to reference the deposit scan BECAUSE WE HAVE SEVERAL WAYS WE KEEP THE SAME RECORDS.